What man, who's the man, when's a man a man, why's it so hard to be a man, am I a man?

Yes, technically, yes...

Flight of the conchords is awesome. One day Derwin and I will form our own FOTC tribute band. I digress. We'll talk about sneakers made by little slave kids in another post. Now I'm going to talk about the issues but I'm keeping it funky.

It's not easy being a guy. We're not as in touch with our feelings as girls. Even if we do hurt, we're expected to take it like a man. Men don't have the support groups that women tend to have. Is it any wonder that on average men tend to feel more lonely than women? And when it comes to girls, man do we not have a clue! Ask any man and he will tell you - girls are such demanding creatures. Anyone who has been a guy long enough has experienced that in the following way:

1. Guy interacts with a girl as he would normally do with any of his male friends.

2. Something seems to have offended the girl.

3. The guy asks what is wrong.

4. Girl says nothings wrong.

5. Guy believes that there is nothing wrong and continues with life as usual.

6. Girl gets even more upset and starts giving guy the cold shoulder.

7. Now the guy is confused because he was gullible and naive enough to believe that nothing was wrong.

8. He now begins the process of figuring out exactly what he did wrong by process of trial and error. 

9. He comes up with his best guess and apologises for it to the girl.

10. Obviously he had absolutely no clue what it was and guessed wrongly but with any luck his apology opens up the avenue for him to find out what he really did wrong and he can then apologise for that (if he's smart and humble but mostly smart) even though he does not feel that that was wrong in any way OR he could be a total idiot and insist on his point wherefore he returns to step 4 but the magnitude of the consequences increases exponentially because now his idiocy will be exposed to the girl's closest female friends who will then begin step 6 with him in earnest.

Over the years I've had my share of idiotic insensitive moments, not in the least the first incarnation of this post. For that I apologise. You see, a lot of the time we use our brain and our ego, and normally these two don't mix very well with girls' feelings. It's such an alien concept to us that something hurtful said or done cannot be laughed off and brushed aside just like that.

Another idiotic thing I did this week was to impose on my friendship with someone to get the front table at the 20th anniversary dinner. What started out as a good intention of wanting all my friends to be on the same table and actually go for the night's celebrations turned into a mission to get what I wanted for my table at any cost. Never mind the amount of time that I put in, or that I was stressed and acted that way. There was just no excuse for me to have done what I did and I'm sorry. Why is it that we only ever realise that we've done something wrong after we've done it? Are we just wired this way and are forever doomed to make jackasses of ourselves when dealing with the opposite sex?

We need to start looking at things another way. Girls aren't demanding. They're just different. Heaven knows if we'll ever understand them. But instead of offering our opinions and reasonings about the issues that they're concerned about (which is a waste of time since we have no idea to begin with), maybe we've got to actually suspend our own way of thinking and beliefs of things should be this way and anything else is just illogical AND actually listen. And learn.

So about heart guarding. Lets do it. I don't know if we can actually not inadvertently hurt someone anyway but at least if we put in a conscious effort we'll be getting somewhere. Maybe it's a lot of effort and examing ourselves and our intentions. Maybe it won't make a difference anyway. But if it saves one person a lot of heartache and wondering then isn't it worth it? So girls, bear with us as we grow in Him, just as we bear with you as you grow in Him. Let's love one another as brothers and sisters and look out for each other. And may God's grace make up the difference.